I have internet access and am flipping through the listings on Yachtworld. Sail or Power? I am muttering under my breath ‘I’ll show you just what I can and can’t do Captain Bligh. I can get my own boat and sail it myself and I’ll put my damn notebooks where ever I damn well please’…
This is a sure sign that it’s time for a break from each other. There are certainly times where Mark feels the same frustration. The truth is, living with another person in such a small space is hard at times. A lack of space is like a magnifying glass for any annoying habits and I can not stress this enough- everyone has annoying habits!
This isn’t our first run at sailing and living together on a boat but it is the first time we’ve done it without a return date and a home base. This time, we only have Ceol Mor and a few boxes in a relatives attic in Scotland and that, for some inexplicable reason changes the intensity. We have to make this work and that can be a challenge when you are literally right on top of one another.
The good news is, it is very possible to make it work. I have learned that sometimes what is needed is space. We certainly know of many couples that sail and spend every moment together, and that works for them. It wasn’t until we started going farther afield that we learned that there are many couples who aren’t together 24/7 and that works for them. Some couples even spend months apart with one or the other opting to fly in or out and skipping certain passages. I even know of one couple sailing a catamaran that have a great marriage and partnership by each having a cabin of their own. The point is, just like there is no such thing as a one size fits all boat, there is no such thing as a one size fits all sailing partnership. You have to learn what works for you and that will likely look very different from another boat crew.
We are finding ways to give each other space…and at times a whole lot of grace. It really isn’t a big deal to move my notebooks off the settee to the shelf. It does not inconvenience Mark to apologize for speaking harshly. Small things that under the boat life magnifying glass can become the difference between happiness or misery. We are finding what works for us, what works for Ceol Mor and trying to do more of that.
And this is a very good thing because I’ve been through all the sail listings and nothing fits as well as Ceol Mor. There is no place I’d rather be. I’ll hold off on the search of the trawler listings until I really need it.