You might have noticed a distinct lack of writing from me. I took a break. A long, 8 month break. If we are telling the truth, it is largely because I can still hear my mother admonishing me “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. This explains why my write up on Beaufort, North Carolina sits unfinished in its file folder and remains unpublished. I’m struggling with the need for honesty and transparency in my writing and a desire to not put any bad mojo out into the universe, even if it would be deserved. So here’s my take on Beaufort for sailors- avoid if you can. The police in the area are NOT boater friendly.
Let’s move on…
Beaufort and our experience there seems to have been the starting point of a very tough 8 months for me. These past 8 months have been a quick trip into a pretty solid funk. Not quite a full on depressive episode because I fight like hell when I realize depression is knocking at my door, but enough that I’ve chosen to keep to myself a bit. Its a self preservation technique honed over the years of preparing and living a life other than what is “the norm”. I have no desire to wallow in self pity. I also have very little desire to sugarcoat the difficulties of living as a sea nomad.
So there in lies my dilemma. Do I write about the injustices, absurdities and difficulties that have triggered my funk? Or do I pretend its all sunsets and crystalline beaches and pretend that wow! Every day is a day in paradise? Since neither seemed like a good option, I decided to keep my counsel. ‘If you can’t say something nice…
The truth is, this life is hard. This is hard and a lot of the time, its not the weather or sailing conditions that make it so difficult. Its little things- death by a thousand paper cuts if you will. As it seems I only have 372 paper cut and have not yet breached the one thousand threshold, I shall likely live. I am sure that someday, when I am ensconced in a cosy, home with a controlled climate and room for nicities as well as necessities, I suppose I shall look back on all of these tiny battles wistfully through the haze of remembrance and it won’t seem as craptacular as it does just now. We aren’t there just yet but we are getting there.
Anyway coming up next, stuff we saw besides the boatyard over the summer…
(More to come…)
